Spring Brings Boobs (kinda)!

Technically it's not really Spring yet, but hey who's gonna tell me I'm wrong? When they start putting Easter stuff out on the shelves, I think it's safe to say it's close enough. The past few years Spring has brought challenges in many forms . But I slayed them nonetheless. Spring is always a time for growth, both spiritually and in my case physically. Tomorrow Sping is bringing me boobs, well kinda. 

Hiking at Hidden Falls

Tomorrow I finally start on the road to Breast Reconstruction. I'll finally be able to close the book on all of this cancer nonsense and be done with it. It's been 3 years since I choose to have a bi-lateral (double) mastectomy after receiving a Stage 1 BC diagnosis. Three long years without boobs. You know I didn't think I'd miss those big ol' fun pillows so much. But when a swimsuit or V-neck no longer became fashion options the nostalgia kicked in. Sure I had prosthetic breasts, which resembled a 2lb chicken breast much more - but it didn't fully do it for me. Plus your real boobs don't have a chance of falling in the toilet when you take them off too pee. Don't get me wrong, Lefty and Righty, as I affectionately called them, served their purpose well. They gave me the appearance of breasts. No one ever knew that Lefty and Righty werent the real thing, except those in my inner circle. 

So why did I wait 3 years to complete reconstruction? At first I just wanted to live. I wanted to fight and kick cancers ass. Then after I won that fight I found I needed additional surgery. And let's face it, I was sick and tired (literally) of hospitals, treatments, being poked, and not being able to poop!!! I just wanted some normalcy. And oh yes, I forgot to mention that I was also CHICKEN! I was deathly afraid to have this surgery. The pain associoated with breast reconstruction is significant. I would have panic attacks thinking of the pain this would cause. I just didnt want to deal with it. 

Sometimes I try to remember who I was before all of this. And the truth is this: Cancer took so much from me and so much out of me but it also gave me so much in return. I learned to cope with anxiety that had plagued my all of my life. I became grateful for everything - the sunrises and sunsets, great coffee, fresh air, clean sheets, simply waking up everyday. And I got stronger. Not physically but mentally and emothionally - something I never was before. My faith in God has become so much more clear, we have a great relationship. He walked with me every step of the way. 

The past few days have been tough. Anxiety has been trying to come out and play, so I just shut it up with an Ativan. Funny right. And I'll take another tonight so I can sleep before tomorrow's big day. But seriously, there is no way I could do this without prayer, meditation, and my support system. Sounds so cliche, but its true. Plus I've taken the time to take care of myself. In the past 7 days I've been hiking, ate a huge sundae, got my nails painted, read a book, binged watched Blue Bloods, lunched with new people at work, spent time with friends and family, kissed and hugged my kids and grandbabies, watched the sunset, went walking and taken a long hot shower - these are some of my favorite things! 

Anyway it's time to do more things that make me happy - tonight I get to hug my Mama! I havent seen her in 2 months and I sure miss her! Next time I check in, I'll have some Boobs! Well the makings of boobs anyway, it takes time for them to grow. I'll post an update at some point after surgery. 

XOXO, 

Z

Gratitude

It's been awhile. Life never stops and before you know it the summer is gone and Fall is upon us. And these days I'm feeling thankful for the blessings we have. Of course there are the obvious - a home, our health, good jobs. But lately it's the little things that have made me really grateful. 

Shepherd's Pie Casserole

I wanted to make something good for St. Patty's Day for the family besides Corned Beef & Cabbage (which I wish I can say that I liked, but I don't so I never make it). I adapted a recipe I found once again on Pinterest via The Cooking Channel. 

One of the things I really like about this recipe is that most of the ingredients I always have on hand.

 

I had carrots, green beans, and corn in my freezer from my big cooking day I did, see previous blog post Crockpot Freezer Meals. That is what I used in the filling. For the mashed potatoes I washed and cut up about 5 large potatoes, kept the skin on for additional nutrients. The kids don't even notice it because it's hidden. Added some milk, butter, parmesan cheese, S&P and whipped em' with my hand mixer.

I've made the Shepherd's Pie Casserole twice now and both times it's come out great, and more importantly the tribe like it so it's a keeper!

Ingredients

2 tbsp Olive Oil

1 Large Onion, diced

1 tsp sugar

1 lb lean ground beef

2 medium carrots, diced or sliced

1 cup green beans, fresh, frozen or canned 

1 cup corn, fresh, frozen or canned

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 tsp Italian seasoning

1 can tomato paste

2 tbsp flour

1 small can chicken stock

2 tbsp sour cream

S & P 

4 cups Mashed Potatoes, (make yours however you like, instant would work too)

2 Refrigerated  Pie Crusts

Preheat oven to 425.

Heat olive oil in a pan over medium-high heat, add onions, sugar and a pinch of salt and pepper. Cook until light brown, stirring occasionally, about 5 mins.  Add ground beef and cook until brown. Add carrots, green beans and corn, continue to cook until veggies are tender, about 5 mins.

Frozen Veggies added to browned ground beef.

Stir in tomato paste and flour and cook for an additional minute. 

Tomato Paste and Flour added to the mix

Deglaze the pan with the chicken stock. Let simmer until it thickens, about 5-7 mins. Stir in sour cream. Pour filling into 9x13 baking dish. 

Steamin' Hot Filling spead into a baking dish

Spread your mashed potatoes over the top, enough to reach the top of your dish.

I love leaving the skins on the potatoes!

All mashed up and ready for to go.

Add to the top of your filling mixture.

Spread evenly and to the top of dish.

Carefully roll out the pie crusts, one at a time. 

I used already made refrigerated dough

Place one pie crust on half the dish and then the other on the other side so that the whole dish is covered. 

Pinch the sides of the crusts so that its not hanging over the sides. Slit 3 holes in top to allow for venting. 

Bake at 425 for 15 - 17 mins or until golden brown.

ENJOY!

 

Cancer Sucks! My Mom's Journey

Diagnosis & Surgery

 My mom was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer in October 2011. She went for her annual mammogram and was called back for a second look a week later. And a week after that she was undergoing surgery to remove the tumor. It's kind of a blur with the speed that it all happened.

Our tees we wore to support Mom.

We have the most amazing support system - our family and friends are angels. Many of us had on matching tees to show our support. I know it made me feel like I was doing something when I felt like I couldn't do anything.  Surgery went well and Mom was up and around soon after. 

Radiation

In December Mom started her Radiation treatments. 6 weeks, 5 days a week. The last couple of weeks took a lot out of her. She was exhausted and tired. Rare to see my mom out of energy because she has more of it than anyone I know. Seeing her KO radiation was a huge win for her - for all of us! The day of her last treatment I asked her to come over afterwards and that I was going to make her a celebratory dinner and watch a movie together. Little did she know she was going to her Rad Grad Party (Radiation Graduation).
Friends and family came from far and wide to support Mom and give her hugs. 

Cute napkins.

Group Picture.

Rad Grad Decorations.

*HUGS* for Mama.

Chemo

Tomorrow is Mom's first day of Chemo, 4 treatments every 3 weeks.  We went to a chemo education class last week, it was informative but also eye opening. Cancer isn't pretty. It sucks. Meds help ease the side effects but doesn't take them away. I look at Mom and think how brave and strong she's been. I think she's going to be so beautiful, even when she's loses her hair.  Because she's got a loving, selfless, nurturing soul. So until tomorrow......

Treatment 1 0f 4 

I wish I could say the first treatment went well. Aside from some major anxiety on both our parts, mom and I got through the actual chemo treatment with flying colors. We talked, laughed, and did some arts & crafts for my toddler son's upcoming birthday. The time flew by. She even wanted to stop by the store after to get a few things. By the time we got her home she was pretty tired and slept only a few hours. After that things went downhill fast. 

Unfortunately Mom has high blood pressure and that is something we never took into consideration with her chemo. One of the "rare" side effects of one of the chemo's she received inflammation and contracting of the abdominal wall. Basically like labor pains. 26 hours after the first chemo treatment we ended up in the ER. Her blood pressure was 245/98. Her BP goes up when she is in pain. With an IV injection of some "happy juice" mom's pain was temporarily gone and she was able to finally get some rest. The docs kept her in the hospital for 3 days before sending her home with the "happy juice" in pill form. Happy to report that she's not taking them around the clock like before and her appetite is slowing coming back. She doesn't have much energy yet but that's to be expected. She's had quite a few visitors which is great because her spirits are up. If she's happy I'm happy! In two weeks she'll receive her next treatment. Hoping her doc has a plan of action to help with the after effects this time around. Until then....

Kick Rocks Cancer!

July 2012 - Mom went back to work!!! This is HUGE!!  But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. The subsequent 3 chemo treatments were not as bad as the first one, had a few ER visits but no more hospital stays. Mom was tired, sick, fatigued, anxious...you name it. But I swear the woman never lost her smile! Mom might have lost all of her hair but she never looked more beautiful - she rocks a head scarf! Bright colored scarves matched her optimistic attitude. Mom spent her time off of work first getting her strength back and then the rest on the GO, GO, GO!  She has more energy than a me. Always off visiting friends, taking my little brother out everyday and embracing life. She spent part of the summer at water parks and playing with her grandbabies.  And now this month she got the ok from her awesome doctor (which we owe jello shots to by the way) to head back to work. It's only been a couple of weeks but Mom is doing well. I just can't believe how blessed I am - my Mom is so brave and amazing and our family support system has been second to none! See below for pics of the most beautiful woman I know....

Confident and beautiful!

This is what family looks like!

Mom with her Auntie at a party!

Out to dinner looking fabulous!

Attempting Freezer Meals for the Crockpot

About a week ago I decided to try this amazing idea I found on Pinterest from mamaandbabylove.com.  I thought this is genius so thank you! Since I already had a few go to recipes that I made regularly with our crockpot the task was fairly "simple". When I have kids to drop off/pick up here and there after work I need to know whats for dinner. And already having it made when I get home is a huge plus. 

It took me a whole day to shop, chop, prepare and store but it was worth it. This will become a monthly activity in our house if only to save my sanity on meals. 

Step One - Go shopping! 
First I hit up our local farmers market Denio's for fresh produce. The kids love going there on weekends and I have to say it was a nice outing. At the end of our trip our toddler ended up walking because I needed the stroller to haul the $40 bucks in produce we were bringing home.  

Second trip was to the grocery store to see what type of meat was on sale. I ended up buying Chicken quarters (because they were on sale), cubed beef, and chicken breasts. I picked up gallon and quart size freezer bags and headed home. 

Step Two - 3 hours of prepwork but oh so worth it. 

This is one of the first times my food processor got a good workout.  I chopped and processed each veggie to be used in the recipes making pretty and colorful piles on my counter. Note to self: Save the onions for last next time!  We just happened to have company come over  so I made a batch of salsa to munch on with chips while they kept me chit chatted away. It made the hours fly by which was nice.  By the way the toddler took complete credit for the salsa, told everyone he made it by himself while he sat there and ate chip after chip.

I labeled each bag with the date and contents and put stored in our garage freezer. 

Step Three - Enjoy!

The first meal we tried was the BBQ chicken - which came out more soupy than anything. 

Plus it didn't help that I used the chicken quarters here. Wasn't fun searching for bones and discarding the skin after the fact. 

This is what it looked like when I put it in the crockpot before work

This is it all plated up. I served it with steamed rice and garlic bread.

Whenever we try out something new we ask the kids if it's a keeper. Including our vote the final verdict was 4-3 in favor of never making it again. It really didn't look appetizing in the picture at all, but with a little tweaking I think I can get the kids to change their vote.

Next on the list was Chicken Soup. After thinking on it, I probably should have added noodles when I got home to make it go further. This won thumbs up votes all around the table. I've made it before but never ahead of time and frozen. It saved so much time.  Again, I did use the chicken quarters here, the bones do give such good flavor. But my love had them all taken out by the time I had gotten home and shredded the chicken.

Chicken Soup - Before (frozen)

Chicken Soup - After

Cashew Chicken was the third one we tried. I was really excited about this one because I love Chinese food and it's a rare occasion for us to get take out.  I'm learning that you when you double recipes (and I must because of our family size) they don't always come out as intended. We liked it! However, it came out a bit salty. Next time I'll add more brown sugar and less soy sauce. I had some left over frozen Thai veggies in the freezer which saved this dinner. It took away from the saltiness.

Cashew Chicken with a side of Thai Veggies

We still have four more recipes stored in our freezer to try. With our cold weather and busy schedules I'm sure they'll be made this week. 

Update

Ok so we tried a couple more recipes last week. This one was a flop. It looked pretty good in the morning. The meat and veggies looked so pretty together. I was thinking along the lines of a "pot roast" kind of dinner when I put this one together - you know pork, potatoes and carrots. Part of my mistake was adding way too much water, I added 2 1/2 cups. I think a 1/2 cup would have been sufficient. It had flavor but the liquid drowned my poor meal. I made steamed rice in hopes the kids would like it a little more. Fail. 

Pork Stew - Before Pic

We also tried a "goulash" style recipe. Unfortunately I do not have any pics to share this time around because this is a dinner that was eaten while my Mom was in the hospital. It was mostly gone by the time I got home so I'm going to assume it's a keeper. It was made up of cubed beef stew meat, carrots, corn, potatoes, celery, tomato sauce, brown gravy mix and cilantro. It was one of the last freezer meals I made so I kind of threw a little of this and that in the bag.